He-Man 2008 Survey Answers

• Alan - Isn’t it obvious? Every time we transfer to a new waterway we need to empty the canoes, pull out our sponges and bathe our canoes inside and out. Some of us have been practicing this for years. Others are slow to catch on.
• Dan - What exotic species are you talking about? Could it be the bottle bass that Kenny catches, puts in his cooler, drinks and then releases to the cool, clear waters of Northern Wisconsin. We can prevent this by giving Kenny a "little John" a device used to relieve yourself while flying. Then we ensure he dumps it in the proper place.
• Kenny - while the main concern, use to be Zebra mussels, I believe that the greater beer bellied HE-MAN is truly the;CLEAR&PRESENT DANGER!!!!!!!!! Do not fear my fellow He-Men, over the years though, as an amateur, freelance, unpaid, and unlicensed D.N.R. biochemist that inoculation on monday especially after the culvert with Rumple-Minz & Leinie's (the flatlander variety seems to do better on such swill as New Glarus and Capitol! (clearly displaying their already liberal tendencies such as are displayed by adherents of the Yellow God "CAT"!) to prevent the spread of diseases such as middle age and cabin fever!!!
  
• Boyd - Leave Kenny behind:-)
• Chris - at every portage that we have whoever would be the one that should be sitting in the corner because they were being bad has to take out their toothbrush and clean every canoe.
• Dave - Another concern on this trip is dehydration. So we have the following solution. Since urine is quite sterile, at the end of each lake we take our canoes out of the water, flip them over, and water them down. This would both kill the exotic species and force us to drink plenty of water.
• Doug -My first thought is that instead of traveling from lake to lake, we instead either just do one lap around that big lake and then call it a weekend, or just circle it until satisfied .... but that idea would be for the weak or old, Dave, Ron, etc.,. So instead my idea is that we have the rookie scrub each canoe every time we change lakes while the vets snack and rest up for the next lake.
• Todd - This seems like a mute point as most of the waters canoe are already joined, but I have heard told that He-man urine can quell even the most exotic of life - Hmmm. Otherwise after each portage we could completely empty each canoe and give the vessel a complete wash and wax job prior to the entry to the next lake. I know of only one or two He-men capable of this type of activity.
• Ron - We have two choices, one being a 500 rod portage between any bodies of water with a name change. The other would be to left a canoe up, remove any seen vegetation, then rinse of with a Lienie's. George then gets a salad and a beer.
• Garth - only buy domestic beer, period.
• George - I don't think any of us can be considered "exotic", so we won't have a problem with this.
• Justin - only transfer nonexotic species from lake to lake
• Bob - I'm afraid we've all got to strip-search our canoe partners to make sure there are no exotic species in exotic places.
• Art - We could set up a decon site before every new lake system where all he-man participants would strip naked and get sprayed down with a 10% bleach solution. To be sure no exotics were hidden then each team would give the other a body cavity search.
• Kenny's Mom - FOLLOW THE SPECIES SO THE ME-MEN CAN CHASE THEM BACK TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM.

• Garth -have to protest this line of questioning since it might give away our next theme.
  
• Todd - Just because we ruled the seas, does not mean that anyone else needs to feel threatened. Besides, paddling the only Aluminum canoe on the trip was a limit enough. Maybe this year should be a more formal event.
• George - Let me get this straight. Todd want's Garth to wear a dress, and they are going to sleep in the same tent. I take back my answer to the last question. Todd can be considered an "exotic an intrusive species" and we should leave him in the first lake.
• Dan - Let them where the girl stuff, for some of us three days in the woods and no women, they might start to look good.
• Bob - None as long as the dresses are UL approved to be worn while drinking semi-flameable liquids in proximity to poorly controlled outdoor fire sources.
• Chris - if Todd and Garth decide to wear dresses at the end of the trip they should have to walk into a public store that is very busy and show off their apparel
• Doug - Well the website does say men only, but I suppose men that dress like women still have the male parts, making them men like the rest of us, (as far as we know, and know I don't want to make sure, your word is good enough) but I assure you that if one dresses like a pansy, one should be prepared to be made fun of as such.
• Ron -  I see no problem as long as the costume is fully assisorized. a thought that one must consider is the group one is with, after all a dress and Kenny would make for years of story telling.
• Art -  For sanitary reasons as well as the emotional and environmental benefit of other he-man participants a minimum undergarment policy should be strictly enforced. The policy would demand a minimum of coverage over the genital area and prohibition of exposed buttocks. Therefore thongs, see through lingerie, and crotchless panties would not be allowed. Loin clothes, proper secured kilts, and the optional diaper would be allowed.
• Alan - I draw the line at thongs! I don’t want to see butt floss on my fellow He-Men!
• Boyd - Black suit and tie with black hats and dark shades (e.g. Blues brothers) should be required.
• Kenny - accessorize? Wait, NO heels.
• Justin - not if people don't mind.
• Dave - I don't think there needs to be restrictions on appearance. But there definitely needs to be limits in action. If two He-Man start getting overly affectionate with each other - they are out of here.
• Kenny's Mom - AS LONG AS EVERYONE IS COVERED IN THE RIGHT PLACES - WHO CARES WHAT THEY WEAR?

• Ron - I have been calling for a REDO at the START of EVERY Lake race for the past 10 years, and Dave still wins or sets it up so one of his church groupies wins. Honestly Dave I would think that you would set a better Christian example.
• Doug - I can't really think of any reason for a redo on a lake race, i think that the losers should just take it like men and live with the fact that two strapping young men do have what it takes to beat them. I just really can't see why there would need to be a redo, unless of course, you're sore losers and lost to two fine specimens of manliness, IN AN ALUMINUM CANOE, then i can see why you would come up with some ridiculous idea like a redo in the lake race!
• Todd - If we don't like who won the race, make the winner go back and do it over... of course while the rest of us sit, have lunch, rest, relax, and wait. Then we all can confirm that yep, they really did win. Of course if it is cold - I don't give a damn who won - lets keep paddling to stay warm.
• Dave - When someone tips on the Lake race, then we need to do a redo. Doug and Chris falsely believed they one the lake race last year. Yes they were the first to the finish line, but everyone else was helping Al and Adam with their tipped canoe. We should of done a redo at that point.
• Dan - I don't care about the lake race, we need to have the redo with the tug-of-war and when Ron wins, call out a redo. Maybe someone else might win this event.
• Bob - A Lake Race Redo can be approved only if the Canoe Parties in question submit form LRR-1 to Boyd or Dave within 5 minutes of hitting the Finish Beach and before any of the other canoes have Portaged the Rapids. If approved, the Canoe Parties in question must proceed to the Starting Waters and Re-Race, starting at the same time. The Second Race cannot becontested and all secondary LRR-1 forms will be automatically rejected, as the Judges will be way the heck down the river by then.
• George - If somebody wins the lake race two years in a row, they obviously have some type of unfair advantage (such as a Minnesota II canoe). When this happens, if all other canoers agree to it, the two time winner must go back and redo the race again.
• Garth -  Make the person or persons that call for a 'redo' complete the entire length of the 'redo' race naked.
• Chris -  i say that if you honestly want to redo the lake race then your crazy and should have to swim it
• Kenny - Inoculate the cheaters (winners) with Kenny Becker grade Inoculate min. 100 proof.
• Alan - If anyone gets more than 20 canoe lengths ahead of the next team, the person behind can call re-do and the front canoe must stop paddling until the behind canoe gets parallel with them. At that point both canoes can continue. If that doesn't work they will have to come next year when the race is re-done.
• Boyd - If Dave is about to win any other canoer can call redo.
• Justin - If you run onto a log call redo and start every one over.
• Art - I don't know, however if I'm not the winner of the canoe race I will be sure to give suggestions at that time.
• Kenny's Mom - THE PERSON BRINGING UP THE REAR GETS TO WATCH EVERYONE & ANYONE THAT RAISES THEIR PADDLE ABOVE THE SHOULDERS THE PERSON BRINGING UP THE REAR GETS TO CALL "RE-DO" ON THAT PERSON & MAKE HIM GO TO THE REAR.

• Art - First of all I think washing dishes is not sissy at all. The fact you say that makes me just want to sit down and have a good cry. I'm sorry I just get a little emotional about it. You know I love you guys. Anyway I think we could could have a three tier event to decide the he-man. First would be a canoe decorating competition to be followed by an outdoor dutch oven quiche Lorraine baking contest, and finely a knit your own canoe cover contest. In case of a tie the winner would be decided by an impromptu Oprah trivia contest.
  
• Todd -  If this is true, I am really disappointed. Next you are going to tell me that the only reason I won was because of Norine's cooking...oh yeah you did tell me that already!   Other wimpy reasons could be - able to gather enough firewood to keep George happy, setting the table properly for lunch, partnering with Al and able to keep the canoe clean to his satisfaction.
• Justin  - Cleaning the canoe out every morning.  (Editor note - that is why Alan doesn't get He-Man of the year)
• Dave - Smelling the best at the end of the trip.
• George -If Garth wears a dress to make Todd happy, and then he wins He-Man of the year, that would out-do Art's good job of doing dishes.
• Ron - I think wearing a dress would be a sissy act. but there is one more worse and that is whining about your broken paddle in hope of getting another. A true HE-MAN does NOT wear make-up OR whines, and does eat RED RARE MEAT.
• Kenny - Best DRESSED! How Un He-Manly.
• Bob - Being the winner of the He-Man Pillow-Case Embroidery contest.
• Dan - Having Garth or Todd winning in girl clothes.
• Garth -  How about if I whine alot and refuse to do the dishes?
• Doug - The most sissy thing i believe you could win the He-Man of the year award for would be dressing up like a girl, but doing such a good job at being a girl (making me a sandwich, doing dishes, cooking, cleaning up after me), that you deserve a He-Man award.
• Chris - mm... im not sure that i can think of one... way to go Art!!
• Alan - A more sissy type person would be the “feelings protector”.  This person would be on the constant lookout for anyone who was upset, intimidated, sore, tired, unhappy or just in general acting like a whiny brat or "girl". The feelings protector would coddle this person in ways I don’t even want to discuss until they felt better. (Thus forgetting that real He-Men should be tough and able to handle themselves in burly engagement without such whining and petty emotional bickery.)
• Boyd - Wearing a pink dress.
• Kenny's Mom - BECAUSE SOMEONE WORE DRESSES?