He-Man 2020 Answers


1) A He-Man tradition is to throw the He-Man of the Year and anyone with a tenth anniversary into Trout Lake. In 2019, with the cold wind blowing Boyd, George, and Eric were excused from being thrown in. What extra special experience do you thing we should provide these gentleman this year to make up for missing the lake toss last year?

Dave - I would say bring back the wimp hats for them to wear, but last time Boyd was proud to wear the wimp hat. I say at any portage we can declare "penalty portage" and the three of them have to carry our gear. .

George - They should be treated like Kings. Missing the tradition of being thrown into Trout Lake was suffering enough for these poor souls. .

Kenny - Mercy is divine, however this being He-man there are coolers....wasn't there an als challenge or something? Between Canadian weather and what not trying to kill me this winter, and dave getting issues with his ticker we really need a medic canoe (no mouth to mouth Garth)?

Eric - A plate of bacon.

Zach - We need to start the trip off right - throw them in the first day before taking off .

Alan - We need to pick the coldest place we can find and throw them in this year. Also perhaps they should get seniority lowered for job selection for a year for the "make-up interest" of being spared the toss of last year .

Boyd - Give them a fine meal of steaks (or vegetables for George) and give them a day off of paddling. .

Dan - Speedos. They should where speedos for the entirety of the next heman they participate in. .

Nick - They need to be thrown into the lake at any and every chance..


2) The hatchet throw is the most biased competition of the He-Man. Year after year, it is either Ron or Alan that typically win it. They are tired of winning all of these hatchets. What would you do to help "level out" the odds of winning?

Dave - Simple, Alan and Ron have to throw blindfolded. .

George - Ron and Al won the hatchet throw a few times, so they shouldn't win it again. I suppose that we should have given Super Bowl II to Oakland because the Packers won Super Bowl I. Maybe we should all just get participation trophies. Enough of this crap. If Ron and Al win, they deserve a trophy .

Kenny - As the dear departed Mr. Miagi said, "feel the whatever.". Blindfolds work.

Eric - think that those who have won hatchets in the past should spin themselves. These are the rules I propose.
1. One hatchet previously won = one full rotation of the torso.
2. The rotations must be done fairly quickly.
3. Upon completion of the rotations, the hatchet must be released within five Seconds. .

Zach - Clearly they must bring their won hatchets and land every one to count for one stick a round. If that doesn't work, then those who have not won the hatchet throw get additional throws each turn equal to the largest number of year wins held by competing He-men. If the He-man with the highest number of won years goes out, the extra throws quantity drops to the next highest winning He-man and so on .

Alan - Biased? By biased do you mean the competition that Dave has a really hard time ever to win? Everyone has the same chances of sticking the ax. It is not dependent on height, weight, age or strength of the thrower. It seems to me for a while the tug of war had the most "predictable" outcome. If you want to make it tougher for those with a high win count, perhaps say when they throw, they can not touch the handle. That would make it interesting. If too many hatchets are the problem, perhaps a different prize would be nice. .

Boyd - Blindfold them and tie their feet and hands together, then allow them to throw the hatchet. .

Dan - Ron and Alan get only 2 misses and everyone else gets 6. And they have to start further back .

Nick - Have them put their heads on a baseball end, do a couple spins to get them dizzy, put a blindfold on and let it rip. .

3) Ron has created a new duty called game master to organize the different competitions. Boyd picked this role, but he: a) dropped out of the Beaver Island Race b) Forced Dave and Dan to start so far back in the Lake Race that they couldn't even catch the last canoe. c) Kepted delaying the tug of war race until we did not even have it. How would you make sure the game master properly fulfills his duties?

Dave - Each competition will be related to a meal. The game master doesn't get fed if they competition doesn't occur. .

George - Boyd is questionable (in more ways than one) for this job. Could a fear of failure in the Beaver Island race caused his cancellation? Could a deep seated inferiority complex to Dave caused him to force Dave to start a half hour later than him in the lake race? Could Freudian issues from youth cause him to fear the embarrassment of losing to Ron in the tug-of-war? I believe that a full psychiatric exam should be given to all applicants for this job .

Kenny - Hmmm, this is a quandary, many great minds. No beans some meals, Little beer being drunk, Can't do it all or I'll be skunked. There would be fireballs in my sleeping bag by the fire, Yet still, there is a way.

Eric - Uhhh, B? .

Zach - No beer, rum, or other form of alcohol for that day! This is serious. Hold that thought - it doesn't work for everyone. Failure to complete their duties will result in the most disadvantaged positions for games the next year .

Alan - First, Boyd is not allowed to do it, EVER! Second, it should not be a duty but rather a small committee, independent of the duties. That way we still have plenty of people working around camp and one person can not mess up the competition. Also, the chief game master must start the lake race last. .

Boyd - Dave's placement in the lake race was perfect for a change. We're tired of Dave complaining he needs to start earlier only to have him zip by everyone! I feel the game master should be allowed to skip any and all competitions and adjust games to allow the weak, uncoordinated, drunk He-Men to have a chance in the competitions. Good job Boyd! I hope your game master this year!!! .

Dan - Job not completed means you cuddle with Kenny for the night. .

Nick - Provide a six pack to anyone or group that was disadvantaged too heavily or bring beer for the group as a whole for any competitions missed. .

4) After the He-Man, should He-Men do their own Laundry? What do you do with your clothes after the trip? (Question from Dave's wife)

Dave - I know what some He-Men do, leave their sticky stuff at Ron's cabins. Especially bad are the smelly water shoes. Whatever they leave at the cabin the need to wear on the next year's trip .

George - I do my own He-Man laundry, but I think this should change. Dave's wife should do everybody's laundry .

Kenny - What, there are women that don't? Gotta get a He-man wife training school going.

Eric - Like any true He-Man, I hang my clothes up to dry, then leave them in my dry-bag for next year. To prevent mildew, and to preserve the smell. .

Zach - Single He-Men obviously have to either wash their own clothes or toss them. Wives and girlfriends who wash our laundry and put up with the terrible sweaty stench, marinaded mud, and algae accumulated articles are women of virtue that we are not worthy of and they should be considered title worthy of She-ra. If they refuse to do our laundry, then seriously: we canoe for days on end priding ourselves on dealing with the elements - we can wash them, it's only one set of clothing anyway .

Alan - What? Why wouldn't a He-Man do his own laundry. He-Man should always do all their own laundry. That way they ensure they are manly clean and can't complain if something comes out of the laundry wrong. For example, if you have a daughter, would you really want to chance your white He-Man t-shirt getting washed with a bright pink shirt? .

Boyd - I put them in a garbage bag and save them for the next year. .

Dan - Wait you guys dont do your own laundry in the first place?? What am I missing out on? .

Nick - Leave them out and spread them across the house. Have the smell remind me of the trip for another week. .

2019 Answers