He-Man 2010 Answers


1) Someone on Italian E-Bay was selling a 1989 He-Man Canoe Trip T-Shirt (green with yellow lettering). And he advertised it as being funny!! We have always viewed He-Man T-shirts as something earned that no one but the participant should wear. What should we do to prevent future breakage of the He-Man code of honor?

Garth - First, we need to put the 'he man code of honor' on every shirt. Second, make sure it is translated in at least 5 other languages (especially Italian). Third, forgive me for letting my daughter wear them as pajama shirts for the past 5 years .

George - I say that we paddle across the Atlantic to pay Guido a visit and beat a little sense into him with our canoe paddles. Todd can film it and do a little scribe work, and then put it on Youtube as a warning against other people selling sacred He-Man shirts. .

Todd - Lets look at this issue from the only potentially valid ways as to how such a T-shirt would make it's way to Italy... a) Ex-girl-friend or ex-wife took all your clothes and gave them to goodwill prior to separation and the so affected He-man died trying to recover said T-shirt(s). b) Settlement of your estate with no designated provision in your will for proper disposal of your T-shirt(s) collection, (because all good He-men should know to follow similar procedures as those used for worn out US Flags… please see proper methods of retiring the US Flag at http://www.usa-flag-site.org/faq/disposal.shtml) Now to get to the what should be done with anyone caught not following the above criteria, should they be discovered, they would then be: disavowed He-man, stripped of any and all previous acknowledged awards. Since this transgression has been uncovered, all current and future He-men should sign a grog oath to abide by the first aforementioned rules .

Sir Douglas Irwin Senior - Alright, greatest idea ever. First, this idea came to me because my buddy and I were thinking of ways to make billions so that we could quit school and this came to me during econ class. So, I think that we should sell these retro He-man shirts to the public and share the profit. However, we would first need to make the shirts more popular. So, I suggest that that we make a reality TV show. This show will feature us on the canoe trip. All kinds of people would tune in to watch this group of guys try to survive the Wisconsin wilderness. Once the show became more popular, people from all over the world would want to buy the He-Man canoe trip T-shirts .

Ron - Funny this sould be a question. I was talking to a cousin who was in the Air Force he said that we can attach a device that we can activaite when we take the He-man picture. What this device does is if anyone other than the owner puts on the shirt it ignites at 2000 deg F.. I have a batch coming for this year! .

Dave - I assume it was a wife that did not appreciate the value of the shirt and donated it. So what we need to do is to have Todd write up a legal document for wives to sign stating that they will not improperly dispose of old He-Man shirts. .

Kenny Jay "THE" Becker - This may seem extreme, but as the unofficial court jester and all around life of the party, my idea is to have all He-Men sign a pledge never to give away or sell or allow to be sold any He-Man memorabilia, and should such an act occur the ability to render said violations legally actionable for all posterity, with one exception:passing down said items to a direct male heir. Yeah and sign this contract in blood etc. etc .

Dan - we should make the perpatrator sleep in a tent with doug after we feed doug a couple cans of beens. or maybe even hang them upside down by their feet like we did with kenny's beer cooler last year .

Tim - The only way I can think of guaranteeing that the sacred He-Man "Code of Honor" is not sold on E-Bay would be to no longer go with T-Shirts. "Whitey Tidie's" or "He-Man Boxers" should pretty much stop anyone from possibly wanting to buy them on E-Bay. Of course, there is the new problem that He-Man turn-out will be dramatically reduced .

John - Lose the T-shirts and just do some He-Man full body tattoos .

Ian - We should remove violator's names from the competitor's list. If they do not have enough pride to keep the shirt, then they do not care enough to be affiliated will the He-man canoe trip at all .

Jesse - I think that the sellear of the He-man shirt should be put on sale on the Italian E-Bay. I wonder how he would feel if he was avertized as a laughable item. I think the selar should be reminded that some items should never be sold. Also why is there an Italian ebay, is the english one not good enough for them .

Chris - spit brother handshake and swear to wear it until it is not a shirt anymore everyday without washing it and dispose of it properly at the end of it's lifetime (burn it and spread the ashes over any body of water) .

Kyle - While this is indeed, a great travesty. What is more concerning is why a He-Man was shopping on Italian E-bay for He-Man T-shirts .


2) Someone on the 2009 He-Man trip decided to swim in the buff at one point. That made some of us quite uncomfortable on the trip. What is your opinion of this behavior?

Garth - Personally, I think you ought to give him a medal or something. I mean come on. The fact that you don't have a special award for this brave act is really appalling. As far as being uncomfortable about this selfless act of gallantry, I have to say I was not the least bit upset or uncomfortable. In fact, I rather enjoyed it. I say that not only should this type of behavior be revered, but it should be added to the long list of initiation rites that make up the 'he man code of honor'. To the originator of this most unabashed act, I say " hat's off to you!". I mean " shorts off to you!" .

George - That just ain't right. We can treat him like my suggestion to treat Guido. .

Todd - I am not sure that any combination of men seeing another man naked is reason for comfort.... with that being stated, those who where there now can answer the line from the movie "Airplane - Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?"
In reality this behavior demonstrates the comfort level of the offending He-man amongst his fellow He-men. However the psychological counseling now required for Kenny to be normal again should require new by-laws to include the need to always be prepared, and wear a swimsuit. Al has always practiced this procedure as he swims at most stops weather permitting - and Kenny was always in perfect mental health prior to this last buffing exhibit. .

Sir Douglas Irwin Senior - In order to make sure that no one feels uncomfortable in the case that this happens again, I think that the entire trip should be done naked. This will bring us closer to nature and to each other (as long as nobody gets too close to me)and make sure that no one is uncomfortable because everyone will be naked. However, if the weather is too cold for such nakedness, we are allowed one loin cloth, but only if you're in the aluminum canoe, so that our bums don't freeze to the seat .

Ron - I see no problem if someone wants to intice a muskie while SWIMMING, NOW steaking is another story. As long as they have something on when entering and exiting the water, (like a fish attached to an item) no problem .

Dave - Not appropriate. Next time should take the canoe with his gear and clothes and paddle a ways away. That should cure this inappropriate behavior! .

Kenny Jay "THE" Becker - What with all the pine trees it seems as if we are being taunted to tar and feather the offender, barring that, "Youtube anyone?" .

Dan - oh thats all o.k. if they really want to risk losing an important apendage to a big old musky while they swim .

Tim - Oh please, do we need to start holding the He-Man trip in Europe, where this type of lewd behaviour is accepted at your run-of-the-mill beaches?

John - Well that is how nature intended it .

Ian - If he chooses to risk getting leeches in unwanted places that is his choice. I on the on other hand prefer to play it safe .

Jesse - well that is uncomfortable .

Chris - I'm all for it the water creates a very supportive yet free feeling :-) .

Kyle - To be honest, if it's ABSOLUTELY necessary for you to do this, at least go after we are all asleep.. .

3) There has been talk that a He-Man reunion of some sort should be done so that those who choose to not take on the rigors of the Trip could still get together with us. What would you propose as the best venue for getting former He-Man together?

Garth - Being a relative newbie I really don't want to comment too much. But after the stuff you all have put me through I feel an all expense paid trip to the bahamas for every he man putting in at least 5 years should suffice. Todd will agree that Cat Island in the Bahamas is a really accomodating venue. He has more seniority than me and I, I mean we, feel it's only fair to get at least 7 days in so we can really re-connect with one another and leisurely discuss past experiences and the rigors of past trips .

George - We should canoe for three days. This trip should include going over Beaver Dams, long portages, some races and at least one upstream day. A difficult upstream paddle through a culvert followed by a dip in freezing water would also be good .

Todd - Re-unions are times to relive past glories... the He-man Canoe trip is about living in the present - not the past! But when Ron has to get out his walker and the nurses in the retirement home are somehow able to pry the canoe paddle from his hands, then we can talk about a reunion. But at that point the appropriate name would be "He-Man Canoe Rendezvous". This would be held at the cabin over the same time period of the normally scheduled He-Man Trip, but all retirees (while not canoeing), would be required to serve the food, drive to the camp, set-up the tents, gather the wood, cook the food, and clean the dishes .

Sir Douglas Irwin Senior - This is a brilliant idea. All of the senior citizens that can't make it through a trip as grueling as the He-Man should indeed have a place to meet and talk about their golden days when they could make such a trip. But I think you guys have forgotten that they already have a place for people said people. This place is the nursing home .

Ron - They can meet us at Sunday at Paul Bunyons. We will be wearing our new EARNED shirts, they will have old shirts and skirts on .

Dave - Have those who do not want to canoe anymore to stay at the cabin. They can transport all of our gear and food to the next site and prepare the food for us. That way the trip will be easier for all of us and they would be encourage to canoe with us. .

Kenny Jay "THE" Becker - I'd say maybe a brew and some bull shooting at first nights campsite? First maybe a required tithe of refreshments? Footwashing the the real participants from the He-Wases .

Dan - Well those who aren't He-Man enough to take on the rigors of the trip could at least come to the opening ceremonies at the cabin the night before .

Tim - old the reunion at the best half way point so we can all make it. I think this probably works out to holding it in Peoria IL. George, is there anything fun to do in Peoria?? (I shouldn't talk, I live in a suburb of Detroit) .

John - Whole pig barbecue .

Ian - A camp out at a forest we be the closest to a conoe trip, and it would involve much effort .

Jesse - somthing borring and easy to do like climbing mount evererst .

Chris - Packer tail-gate party .

Kyle - It would obviously have to be Paul Bunyans, after the He-Men finish their yearly duty. This would also bring up an interesting way to judge the different scents we gathered after 3 days of not showering .


4) On the first supper of the 2009 trip Dave got really stressed out over the complexity of Todd and George's 7 course meal. What should be done to alleviate Dave's stress?

Garth - We could simply make Todd and George's future 8th course meal include a series of Jack Daniels shots or Jim Beam, if you prefer. I like to keep it simple. I am also aware that Dave may not want to take part in that type of solution, so I propose another. We make Dave prepare not only his assigned meal, but all meals during the trip to avoid any stress which could arise over any complex combination of food groups .

George - Stick with writing in your little notebook Todd and leave the meal preparation to me .

Todd - First off it wasn't just a 7 course meal, it was "Todd's Frickin" 7 course meal, as George doesn't want any part of ownership for this culinary event. Please note that if this were left to George we would have all been eating grass and oatmeal. I figure that we have truly seasoned cooks that look forward to showcase their talents and to exalt their He-Man chef abilities. I am a firm believer that we need to be eating better on these He-man events as Dave is not stopping often enough for us to consume the food that is brought, (I almost lost weight this last year)! To help Dave overcome any complications in future year's meals, we will let him bring a long extension cord and his cuisinart, mixer, viking stove, frigidaire, and wife (for meal preparations only) .

Sir Douglas Irwin Senior - Simple. Dave, take a chill pill. In the case that this doesn't work we could always just send Dave off on an "adventure" while supper is being made. For this "adventure" we tell Dave that we saw berries on shore some place a mile or so back from the campsite and that we would really like some for dinner so he should go pick them. If he doesn't want to go by himself we can send a rookie, unless that rookie is my partner, in which case we send Dan Irwin. Now, if Dave just refuses to go all together we will have to tie Dave up, throw him in a canoe and let the water dictate the course of Dave's "adventure". And since I like Dave, when we do send him of I will make sure that we anchor him to a tree with some rope measured about 300 ft long so that his "adventure" doesn't take him too far away. And when supper time comes around we can reel him back to shore so that he cam join us. Stress alleviated .

Ron - I know Dave got stressed by the 1st course being a beer followed by a course of beans,beer,bread,beer,beans,brownies topped whith beer. What he needed to remember is that the diet would keep the wild life away, we are outside, and this was George not Kinny .

Dave - Have Todd stop making meals and instead just designate a meal where we just eat out of the baked goods cooler that Todd's wife traditionally prepares for us. .

Kenny Jay "THE" Becker - Drinking game? Yes let's pretend Anthony Bourdain invaded He-Man and is the one pushing booze this Year. Or george could make some really "organic" Brownies with some uh ingredients uh yeah thats it. Wow This is not my best material here does this mean I Kenny am getting OLD like RON, I don't mean old but like OOOOOLD .

Dan - w ell first tell dave to stop pulling out what little hair he has left and enjoy the meal put in front of him:)And i would tell him that just because Goerge is making the meal doesn't mean Todd wont sneak some meat in the food .

Tim - Next time just have 7 people bring a different flavored box of Granola Bars. This gives us the 7 course meal, and we don't have to worry about bringing ice .

John - Add an 8th course...even numbers are soothing .

Ian - Send him on a hike while we cook an 8 course meal .

Jesse - Dave should be reminded that food is good .

Chris - force him to eat the same meal .

Kyle - Reduction to a 5 course meal. Or many more 7 course meals so Dave finally gets used to it .

 2009 Answers