He-Man 2011 Answers


1)Rookie John last year did the amazing feat of doing the whole He-Man with a arm cast on. He even did the Lake dunk with a bag over his arm. What physical limitation would you still do the He-Man with?

George "canoeman" Mattson - I've done the He-Man with Todd before. I think he counts as a physical limitation. .

Douglas "The Studly" Irwin - When I first read this question, I immediately thought that my answer should be old age. Yes, I would continue to do the He-man even when I was physically limited by old age. But then I thought to myself, I said, "Self, Ron, Dave and Boyd have already done that one." After realizing this, I couldn't think of any greater limitation. I've had to watch year in and year out the effects that old age can have on these older men and the difficulty that they encounter every year trying to keep up with the He-man youth. .

Ron (the old man) Roloff - A Coma, would be just like the old days of drinking .

Dave - A sliver in my pinkie - a severe disability with all of the splitting, volleyball, wood cutting, portaging, and paddling on the trip. .

Kenny "THE" Becker - Sobriety, Seeing as I am of the Greater Athens branch of the Becker clan, this has brought me much chiding. wow He-Man sober I never even did that on probation! .

Dan - Well i think i would still be able to do the he-man with a broken nose despite not being able to breath. .

John - I think I could do the He-Man without a brain. I mean if Doug can do it then I can do it. .

Ian - I would still go on the He-Man even if I was missing both of my thumbs. The inability to properly grip the paddles would be a great hinderance, however it would not keep me from attending the He-Man. .

Jesse - Eh.. I don't need my legs and I can get rid of one arm. .

Brady - broken fingers .

Alan - A beer belly. The extra weight would slow me down and drag my precious canoe over the rocks. I wouldn't be too proud of myself but in the spirit of the trip, other's have over come with this limitation and I believe I could as well. .


2) Two new classes of He-Men are being formed. In the early days it was Drinkers lead by Boyd and Non-Drinkers lead by Dave. This year it was Old Farts lead by Ron and Young Studs lead by Doug. And the Young Studs are dominating the competitions - 2 out of 3 in volleyball, 2 rookies win the tug of war, all 4 rookies in the top 3 positions for Crazy Beaver. Only consolation is that Dave was in the winner Crazy Beaver canoe and Kenny was in the winning lake race canoe. So what are your thoughts about this new classes of He-Men?

George "canoeman" Mattson - I think the old farts rocked. Most of us are getting to the age when the hardest thing our peers do is get up off the couch. Doing the He-man, and keeping up with the kids is quite an accomplishment. Who's up for an Ironman? .

Douglas "The Studly" Irwin - I agree with these classes; however, I believe that instead of the Young Studs lead by Doug, they should be known as Doug's Studs. Because not every youngster that comes on the trip should automatically be considered a stud simply because of their age. This title should be reserved for Doug's "chosen studs". Another reason to remove the young from the title is because Doug's not going to remain young forever, but he and his chosen will continue to be studs .

Ron (the old man) Roloff - It is a well known fact that after one turns 50 the body starts loosing muscle, so with that in mind. IT IS ABOUT TIME these young whipersnapers start pulling thier weight, some of us have been tugging their carcuses around for more than two decades, oh thats right they wern't born yet. .

Dave - The key difference between these two groups is not age. It is that they are not married. Things happen to you once you are married - you really slow down. We will see that with Doug this year. .

Kenny "THE" Becker - Who You calling old? I am middle aged, yet now being 36 I can legally date a woman half my age for the first time YES HOO AH. .

Dan - My thoughts on this new class of studly he-men... hmm well they are some beastly guys especially those Irwin boys those 2 are a cut above the rest... i only hope that they dont get too full of themselves otherwise the old farts might need to beat them down a little. .

John - Be afraid. Be very afraid. .

Ian - I don't mind it all. There is obiously a good deal of differnce between the classes when two young, handsome rookies win the tug of war. .

Jesse - Simple math Young Studs > Old Farts no need for additional thoughts .

Brady - awesome, old farts are going down .

Alan - I was absent last year due to work, but this year I bring additional spirit and enthusiasm to the Old Farts ranks. Bring it on! .

3) On Sunday lunch on Trout River this year, we forced Doug's canoe to leave last. Reason being is that we wanted to prevent he from getting ahead and making log dams for us like he did in 2008. Do you think that was fair?

George "canoeman" Mattson - I think holding Doug back was a good start. But this year, we need to get him back. And do it right. We'll need a few chainsaws and some heavy duty logging equipment. Doug will think twice about making log dams after that. .

Douglas "The Studly" Irwin - It was absolutely fair. ........ It was nearing the end of the trip and the journey was starting to wear out all the old farts, so it's a good thing that they got a head start. I mean, who isn't threatened by a canoe with the stud leader and his one armed friend in it? .

Ron (the old man) Roloff - No I don't believe this is fair. Doug should leave with the rest of us, and if he wants to change the beauty of what God did so be it. Note I said DOUG, NOT DOUG'S CANOE .

Dave - I felt really bad after seeing how Doug was so bummed with this restriction. Doug was so depressed that he barely made it up Trout River. It apparently scarred him permanently. He ended out needing support of a woman because of this. Then look what happened! .

Kenny "THE" Becker - Overly kind is more like it, Tresspassers must get keelhauled, swim the Trout lake I say Arggh!!! Beat him with reeds, after which Scott Ullenberg will regale him with Jokes only Scott would stoop to. Hey things happen, who's to say a canoe won't sink, these things happen? I mean like I don't know nothing about nothing, I'm just saying ya Know what I mean right? Fuhgetaboutit. .

Dan - Someone needs to kill that darn beaver and make a nice hat out of him... Yeah it was totally fair. .

John - Life has its obstacles. Is it fair to punish Doug for preparing us for life? I think not. Go Doug! .

Ian - The He-Man is not a competition about fairness, it is about toughness. Forcing Doug to leave last showes, I think, a lack a toughness. If competitors are complaining about passing over obsticals in the river, placed by man or not, they should reevaluate if they really blong on the He-Man. .

Jesse - Not only do I think it's fair I think the other canoes should have teamed up to make dams for "the beaver" to deal with. .

Brady - ohh yeah, we need some pest management .

Alan - If the young studs are so powerful, they should be leaving shore later by seniority to even the playing field. Building log dams is not in the good spirit of beaver buster any way so the punishment fits. .


4) In 2010, Dave released his privilege of being the evening cook and let George be the cook because George was whining that he never got to be the cook. Sunday evening he spilled a portion of the Alfredo sauce into the fire. Should we let our vegetarian friend George be a cook in 2011?

George "canoeman" Mattson - It didn't bother me much. I didn't eat the alfredo sauce. Especially after I scooped it out of the dirt and put it back in the pan. However, it did make cooking difficult after Todd found out. He turned into a raving lunatic. It was tough to continue cooking with somebody endlessly screaming "You spilled my white sauce!". Garth, Todd is your cousin. Next time he goes psycho, it's your job to fend him off. Take one for the team. .

Douglas "The Studly" Irwin - No, most definitely not, I think we should apply a familiar Indian saying to this situation: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. and If it ain't a meat eater, don't let it cook our food .

Ron (the old man) Roloff - Well it is a fact that vegetarians can't hunt, that is why they don't eat meat, and one needs to cook meat, so they can't cook. They believe that food must come from the mother earth. That is why George saw no problem in straining the sauce on the ground. I wasn't going to say anything but he was doing this all weekend long, he just got caught this time. So if you want ground strained food then George will cook it for you. .

Dave - It's all Todd's fault. He always brings too much food. Being the regular evening cook, I can tell you the stress of cooking an overwhelming amount of food. Next time George should dump all of the Alfredo sauce into the fire. .

Kenny "THE" Becker - Thus I decree:George must be marinated in 151, then he shall be allowed to cook. .

Dan - Hmm good question... well while change is good u cant let a vegitarian cook a he-man's meal!! (man law 42) .

John - He can be cook, but only if the meal is cereal. .

Ian - Having a lack of sufficient food that night certainly affects my judgement in this decision. Unfortunatly for George this is not a government court and bias cannot be weeded out. I do not beleibe he should be aloud to cook in 2011. If he does wish to cook on future trips, him serving everyone food at the evening meals this year would be a good repayment for his "mistake." .

Jesse - George WILL not be a cook (sorry George) this year. We cannot afford cooking accidents. SAVE THE ALFREDO SAUCE!!!! .

Brady - no, i want meat .

Alan - Any one who spills the holy grail of nourishment into the fire should be demoted to beaver-helper/lumberjack. A tick for tat. .

2010 Answers